Randoms

“Randoms” is a Wide Right column housing the whimsical tidbits that consume my day.  Most are sports related, but as with all my columns, a small dose of the arbitrary is thrown in.

• First off, I need to say that I left out one of the best things I didn’t miss from my last column. Seeing Curt Schilling pitch in the 2007 ALDS. He crushed the Angels, and I am happy to say that watching Curt hurl in person is something every Red Sox fan should do, or I guess should have done would be more appropriate. Schill feel free to comment on this column if you’d like. I was checking my comments today and surprisingly, still nothing from you man. What gives?

• Steelers will win the Superbowl. You heard it here. I’m not afraid to go out on a limb like this. Steelers are your champs.

• SHOW ME THE MONEY. Let’s talk agents. First you have Scott Boras, brilliant at making himself millions of dollars off the talents and hard work of others. Truly a gift wouldn’t you agree? You bust your ass mastering your craft, working out year round, not to mention the constant practice, practice, practice (unless, of course, you’re A.I.), and this douchbag agent (I don’t know him personally but it has been my experience that agents do absolutely nothing for you except collect money for YOUR hard work) does nothing but spend money that is rightfully yours. That was quite a sentence. He is so greedy that not only did he almost cost A-Rod to, in the words of one of the Steinbrenner brats, go into the hall of fame as a Toledo Mud Hen, but he is also costing Jason Varitek millions of guaranteed dollars. A-Rod, ended up making the deal with the Yanks on his own for big bucks but poor Varitek is offered two years at a guaranteed 8 million (possibility of 10 million) instead of a 1 year contract that, through arbitration, probably would have gotten him 10 million. In addition to Boras only caring about his clients (extreme sarcasm), another agent Randy Hendricks, representing another Yankees player, Andy Pettitte (who made 16 million last year) may have given his client some very bad advice. Pettitte was offered 10 million this year, and he and his agent turned it down and held out for the monstrous contract that he just signed with the Yankees which guarantees him, hold onto your socks, 5.5 million. Isn’t the advice of an agent awesome. Oh and I forgot about another Scott Boras client, Manny Ramirez, who was offered a 2-year 45 million dollar contract from the Dodgers. Boras turned it down. The market for Manny dried up and now spring training is right around the corner. Nobody knows what is going to happen here but it is clear that agents are just greedy bastards that care nothing about their clients and only about trying to bleed organizations dry so that their cut of money they have done nothing to earn is higher. Apologies to Jerry Macguire.

• How is it that Andy Pettitte has skated, virtually unscathed through this entire steroid and HGH debacle. I guess admission of guilt clears you of any and all wrong doing. Note to all law breakers, just admit it, and go hang out with Andy, making millions, living the good life.

• PTI just debated the two teams in the Superbowl. But the question wasn’t who would win, instead it was about who has the prettier uniform. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? When did one of the best sports shows on television go Queer Eye on us? Really? Reali how could you allow this?………By the way the answer is the Steelers. What?

• T.O. has a reality show coming out. Could anyone love himself more. Now I’m vain but this takes the cake. I am so glad this douchebag was never a Redskin. If only we could erase the Deion Sanders years.

• So sad that Shaq going 9 for 10 from the line makes sports headlines. It is called a FREE throw for Christ’s sake.

• The Arizona Cardinals will roll on Feb. 1. No contest. The Cards behind Warner and Fitz will take home the hardware. You heard it here. I am not afraid to go out on a limb like this.

• The owner of the Dallas Mavericks, Mark Cuban, has, during his tenure as owner, paid roughly $1.5 million in, get this, fines. FINES. I have to pawn shit to pay a $40 parking ticket. Man, it must be nice. Oh, and good work on that dine and dash ESPN commercial. Pretty damn funny. Maybe that’s where all the extra cash comes from.

• I am literally dumbfounded that the “experts” decided that VT basketball did not deserve a top 25 ranking.

• I just saw Chubby Checker on Orange County Choppers. Freakin’ great show. As soon as ESPN, Foxsports.com, CBS sportsline, or someone else takes note of these columns and decides to hire me to write for them, I will be hiring Paul Sr., Jr., and Mikey to build me one of them bikes. BTW, I had the pleasure of seeing Chubby Checker live during the halftime of Superbowl XXII. Come on baby, let’s do the twist.

• I’m doing it. I’m buying a Sham-wow. I swear I am going to pull the trigger soon.

• Facebook is lifesucking. At one point the other day I was IMing on FB and Gmail at the same time. Why again am I not productive?

• So my roommate is doing this exercise program where he has to eat certain foods that he orders from this company. They sent him a box of bars that were scheduled to expire the very next week. He called them and had them send him another box that would last longer. It arrived yesterday, and the expiration date was exactly the same as the original box. So he called them again. Frankly, I hope to god that they get it right this time because for the past 24 hours I can’t get George Michael’s “Careless Whisper” out of my head. It is evidently the only song this company played while my roommate was on hold. And he was kind enough to share that bit of musical dog poop with me. Bastard.

• Oh, and in case I forgot to give my prediction…….Defense always wins championships. Steelers take it, hands down. You heard it here. I am not afraid to go out on a limb like this. Steel-town get ready to celebrate.

As always, comments, concerns, and insults are always welcome. Bring it.